My Dream of Getting a Real Job

That’s “dream” in the literal sense. I had this dream a few nights ago and wrote it down. I’ll keep it brief because I know that other people’s dreams are just about the least interesting type of story. So here it is, in dream italics.

I had just started working for a tech startup with a weenie of a boss. I think it was my third day on the job. Boss told me he was worried for the last two days because traffic numbers to the site had been low. I guess he expected his new traffic ninja to deliver results instantaneously as soon as my butt hit his cheap office seating. But he was happy because today traffic numbers seemed to be at a record high.

I told him different days of the week were better for visits, and that traffic growth takes time, done right it can take a lot of time.

He admitted he didn’t really understand Google Analytics that much so I told him to sit down I would teach him. Right now if you like.

Sat down to show him and he immediately dismissed himself saying, “haven’t eaten yet today.”  He invited me out to lunch. I accepted We ended up in an enormous dining hall, set up hogwarts style. At this point I realise I forgot to wear a shirt to lunch.

Weenie and I sat across from each other at the table. People in the dining hall were playing a mixer game where you have to write something down on a piece of paper.

Weenie boss is starting to distance himself from me as I talk loudly to the people around me.

I start talking to this girl and tell her that we are in a dream, because I’m not wearing a shirt and that happens in dreams.

Find a bunch of friends from high school and hit it off. Tim and I start impersonating Sean Connery singing a traditional scottish war melody while forcing our way down a crowded staircase. This is despite a sign that clearly states “No Sean Connery beyond this point.”

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